Much potential is available this year for breakthrough in finally succumbing to the process of writing daily and committing to the craft in a way I have never been. I think I waste most of my energy in living that is emotionally draining. Add to this, a nasty habit I picked up of writing emails which have a semblance of writing but ultimately drain your creativity and time. Case in point, about a year ago, a fellow yogi and I emailed one another to prepare for a retreat we were both attending. This went on over a six month time period. I saved all the emails thinking that I would compile them and put them in book form as a beautiful memory for both of us. What I found as I began to rework the emails is that the writing amounted to 126 pages! Now granted, I have heard that writing is simply writing a page a day. Doing the math, I realized that even if my friend contributed 1/2 the pages, I obviously have the capacity to achieve a goal that I viewed too intimidating! I had to take a personal inventory and recognize that I have been making excuses for not moving forward in this endeavor.
Julia Cameron, in her book "The Artists Way," describes this type of behavior as 'shadow artists.' The idea of pent up creativity flowing sideways into other venues in an effort to clue the defiant artist that he/she is not living the fullness of his/her life. Whether it hearkens back to being disencouraged from exploring art as a child or feeling incompetent or simply viewing the task a waste of time, the idea of creation for its own sake rather than a manifestation of outcomes takes much courage to walk into.
As I choose to allow GOD to show me how the shadow artist can move into the light, dusting off years of denial and complacency and just plain laziness, I pray that this year would awaken within me the thrill of living again, outside the noise of drama and emotionalism and draw me into the inner peace a life with Jesus is supposed to bring. As I journey to the well for fresh water of ideas and awareness, I know I cannot help but change.